Self-esteem is defined as the way a person feels and thinks about him or herself. It is believed that self-esteem is developed during the childhood years. It is largely affected by how one has been treated by the people surrounding him or her particularly his or her parents.

Many individuals suffer from low-esteem. When someone has low self-esteem it affects all facets of his or her life. Low self-esteem can have adverse effects in ones confidence, ability to build and maintain friendships and romantic relationships, career development or work performance. It could also lead to unhappiness and a generally unsatisfactory life. When one has doubts about his or her capacities then he or she is likely to be suffering from low self-esteem.

It’s rather hard to estimate just how many people suffer from self esteem issues, but it is estimated that millions of people around the world are suffering from low self-esteem. It affects people of all types, including those in developed and industrialized countries such as the United States and United Kingdom.

Fortunately for these individuals, there are many ways to build self-esteem. One of the most effective of these ways is to have a positive self image. A positive self image simply means an agreeable or favorable view of ones self including ones talents and abilities and physical attributes. In other words, to have a healthy self-esteem one must be able to like or love him or herself. If you do not like yourself you simply cannot have high self esteem.

Another way to avoid having low self esteem is to get rid of negative thoughts. You might be wondering how exactly do you go about doing this? The most important thing is to be able to recognize a negative thought as it enters your mind. One cannot simply will a negative thought away. The most effective way to dispel negative thoughts is to replace them with positive ones. If, for example, you are beginning to have doubts. Then simply replace these doubtful thoughts with thoughts of confidence and belief.

It is important that you change the negative thought immediately and not let it linger in your mind. If a negative though stays in the mind for a long time then there is the possibility that it could turn into a habit. In which case, it would be very difficult to dispel or get rid of it.

Another powerful way to deal with negative thoughts and thus build self-esteem is through positive affirmations. These are words that suggest positive beliefs and ideas and are meant to be read or recited repeatedly. One of the most popular affirmation goes like this: In every day, in every way I am getting better and better. If you are having negative thoughts and are suffering from low self-esteem then try to say this affirmation to yourself several times throughout the day.

Finally, you can also improve your self-esteem by hanging out with positive and supportive friends and relatives. This is probably the most effective way of improving ones self-esteem. The words of encouragement and even praises of these individuals can do wonders to your self-esteem. Their love and understanding is definitely more powerful than any affirmation or positive thought. Sometimes just knowing that somebody believes in you makes you believe in yourself also.

Just follow the guidelines above and soon, your self-esteem will skyrocket.

Today’s success tip comes from Michelle Duval.

Michelle became a pioneer by founding Equilibrio, one of the very first coaching firms in Australia. Since then she has also co-developed the international Meta-Coach Training SystemÆ, training professional coaches in 35 countries.

Once awareness of issues is identified, how can people facilitate their own change?

Step One: Develop self-sustaining motivation for the change - identify specifically what you are moving away from and what it is that you no longer want. List what it is costing you emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually and so on. Identify all of the discomfort and painful feelings it currently gives you, or could if you do not do something about it.

Simultaneously identify what you are moving toward - what it is that you want and desire. List all the benefits of what you really want and why you want it. Identify all of the positive feelings associated with such benefits, recognising what the change will lead to and open up in your life. Once you can feel this in your body, as pushing and pulling energy, you are ready for Step Two.

Step Two: Make a definitive decision - identify what you need or want to change. Is it an internal change to a belief, an aspect of your identity or behaviour? Is it an external change to a relationship, your environment or so forth? Weigh the pros and cons of what specifically you need or want to change.

Is the timing right in your life for this level of change and are you prepared to do what it will take to make the change at this time? When you feel the energy of having decided, and feel an impatience to do it, you are ready for Step Three. Do not try any level of change without personal motivation and making a decision.

Step Three: Create an inner game plan for the change - internally develop the identity, beliefs, values, and mind-set that are aligned with the new behaviours and actions you want to create. Without a fully formed and solidified inner game, the habits and behaviours you want to develop will be ill formed and unsustainable.

Step Four: Birth the outer game - begin to express the first incremental developments of the new behaviours or actions in your life. Take baby steps and build upon the strength of those small steps until you have developed momentum and strength. Create a list of tasks and actions that you can use to hold yourself accountable for step-by-step development of your new abilities.

Step Five: Solidify and reinforce the change in yourself and your life - begin by counting and recognising the smallest baby steps or expression of the new ability and behaviour. Avoid testing or critiquing the new skills until they are fully formed. During the first phase of developing the skill or initially expressing it, you must only look for the closest expression of it and validate it - just as you would a child learning to walk or talk.

Only then can you begin to test and critique where the skill may need further refinement and improvement. If you initially test and critique the first expression of change or skill development, the new abilities and behaviours will not mature and you will abort the change process. You will end up looping round and round without making progress. Count the smallest improvement and you will exponentially accelerate growth and solidify change in your life.

I hope you’ve learned a lot from this week’s Success Tip, check back again next time for more great advice from the experts.

Until then,

Allan Poole